my books

So I fall asleep in the patio and while I'm sleeping it occurs to me that this is the end of adolescence as a period. Not as a state of mind but as a period. And life at the verge of this period is a bunch of losses, it is a bunch of things that end abruptly, things and people replaced by things and people that will be eventually lost. Some old pain comes to comfort me in this dream, a pain that I know and I can touch because it was the present I was given at birth. I can turn this pain into a little ball. I can keep this ball in a box inside a closet. I can keep it as I keep all my other maps and my jackets for the winter and some of my books.